Wer will, daß die Welt so bleibt wie sie ist, der will nicht, daß sie bleibt -Erich Fried.
Vielleicht bin ich doch diejenige, die nicht will dass sie bleibt.
July 19, 2010
July 15, 2010
Decency
These past few days had been mentally exhausting.. I met lots of weird people. I'm actually wondering, am I being the weird one or is it them?
A few days ago I met a woman who's a bit brash. It's the first time I met her.
(shaking hands)
me: Hello, I'm W.
She: Hi, I'm F. So, you're W, I saw your photos with Efan on Facebook! You're that girl who's very flirtatious.. No, that's not the word, umm... coquettish! Wait, no! Wild !!
I was thinking like,"Um...Ok, is this supposed to be a compliment or an insult? We just met...And you're judging me based on those crazy photos we shot on purpose.."
So, I just smiled and said nothing.
After a few minutes she said,
"You're so fair! You must be afraid of the sun, right? I bet you avoid the sun all the time."
Me: "Um, not really, I want to be a bit tanned actually."
She: "Ah you liar! then why are you sitting here under the tree, instead of sunbathing there at the park!"
Me: "Because it's 39 degree today?"
And as I found out later from other friends, everybody's actually avoiding her because of her aggressiveness and how she makes fun of others.
The next day I went to work with a girl. It was also the first time that I met her. She also has this kind of aura about her.. this aggressiveness. But I said to myself, that I shouldn't be judgmental before I get to know this person.
At the end of the day, she and I were the only ones left, and there're still lots of work that needed to be done. But she said she's going home early because she's not in the mood to work that day. I said I wanted to stay behind and finish off the work. But the problem is that I didn't know how to operate the machines alone since I'm new. Then she said to me that I should go home because it's also useless if I stayed. The work was too much. So I went home with her.
The next day the boss called and scolded me for leaving work behind. And apparently this girl told the boss that she's the one that wanted to stay behind, and I was the one who forced her to go home. I was baffled.. When the boss asked me, I tried to cover up for her.. Never thought she could do such thing to me. Well, maybe I was too naive.. Anyway, apparently I'll lose my job since it's my word against hers. And I'm the new girl there.
In the same time I hosted a friend at my place. We had a history back then. I thought everything's fine now since he told me he has a new gf and how much he loves his gf. So I went to work, and when I got back from work, I found out he used my laptop, logging in into my facebook and email account, and checking on my private notes, photos and mails. He even checked on my ex bf's profile, although I'm not friends with him anymore on facebook. How creepy is that..
I found out about this accidentally. I was looking for a shopping website which I forgot in my browser's history and saw that someone checked on my accounts when I was supposed to be at work. For more than an hour! My tagged photos (I made em private), my hidden private notes, my current mails. Everything! So, it can't be an innocent mistake that he accidentally logged in or anything and he brought his own laptop as well. I felt so violated.. I hosted him and he did such things..
DECENCY, PEOPLE, QUESTION MARK.
"What's wrong with the world mama?
People living like aint got no mamas
I think the whole worlds addicted to the drama
Only attracted to the things that bring you trauma"
Now... forgive and forget. Easier said than done.. Am trying to forgive, still need some time.. Such a weird week indeed.
A few days ago I met a woman who's a bit brash. It's the first time I met her.
(shaking hands)
me: Hello, I'm W.
She: Hi, I'm F. So, you're W, I saw your photos with Efan on Facebook! You're that girl who's very flirtatious.. No, that's not the word, umm... coquettish! Wait, no! Wild !!
I was thinking like,"Um...Ok, is this supposed to be a compliment or an insult? We just met...And you're judging me based on those crazy photos we shot on purpose.."
So, I just smiled and said nothing.
After a few minutes she said,
"You're so fair! You must be afraid of the sun, right? I bet you avoid the sun all the time."
Me: "Um, not really, I want to be a bit tanned actually."
She: "Ah you liar! then why are you sitting here under the tree, instead of sunbathing there at the park!"
Me: "Because it's 39 degree today?"
And as I found out later from other friends, everybody's actually avoiding her because of her aggressiveness and how she makes fun of others.
The next day I went to work with a girl. It was also the first time that I met her. She also has this kind of aura about her.. this aggressiveness. But I said to myself, that I shouldn't be judgmental before I get to know this person.
At the end of the day, she and I were the only ones left, and there're still lots of work that needed to be done. But she said she's going home early because she's not in the mood to work that day. I said I wanted to stay behind and finish off the work. But the problem is that I didn't know how to operate the machines alone since I'm new. Then she said to me that I should go home because it's also useless if I stayed. The work was too much. So I went home with her.
The next day the boss called and scolded me for leaving work behind. And apparently this girl told the boss that she's the one that wanted to stay behind, and I was the one who forced her to go home. I was baffled.. When the boss asked me, I tried to cover up for her.. Never thought she could do such thing to me. Well, maybe I was too naive.. Anyway, apparently I'll lose my job since it's my word against hers. And I'm the new girl there.
In the same time I hosted a friend at my place. We had a history back then. I thought everything's fine now since he told me he has a new gf and how much he loves his gf. So I went to work, and when I got back from work, I found out he used my laptop, logging in into my facebook and email account, and checking on my private notes, photos and mails. He even checked on my ex bf's profile, although I'm not friends with him anymore on facebook. How creepy is that..
I found out about this accidentally. I was looking for a shopping website which I forgot in my browser's history and saw that someone checked on my accounts when I was supposed to be at work. For more than an hour! My tagged photos (I made em private), my hidden private notes, my current mails. Everything! So, it can't be an innocent mistake that he accidentally logged in or anything and he brought his own laptop as well. I felt so violated.. I hosted him and he did such things..
DECENCY, PEOPLE, QUESTION MARK.
"What's wrong with the world mama?
People living like aint got no mamas
I think the whole worlds addicted to the drama
Only attracted to the things that bring you trauma"
Now... forgive and forget. Easier said than done.. Am trying to forgive, still need some time.. Such a weird week indeed.
July 7, 2010
fragile..
Tak sengaja temukan catatan seorang teman.
Kubaca..
Berpikir..
Merenung..
"with my life I have now and all the people around me, I know I shouldn't be sad anymore...
but there are still nights where I find it so hard to get through alone... and there's nothing I could do but cry... and I couldn't stop it..."
Posted by Ay..
Ini yang dia tulis.
Masih kuingat,
betapa si lelaki mencintainya.
Album foto berisi dia.
dengan catatan pinggir manis
"ay, smile, and please keep smilin', coz' I love the way you smile... "
atau
"u and me"
Tujuh tahun pasang surut.
Prang!
Hancur.
Sekejap mata.
Rapuhnya kehidupan
Kesementaraan yang membekukan.
Saat dia terbangun,
hanya dia sendiri disana.
dingin.
Betapa dia berharap bisa menghentikan waktu
atau punya mesin waktu dimana dia bisa menekan tombol
Pause, Rewind, Stop.
Ingin rasanya dia menjerit,
berilah aku kesempatan lagi,
berbaliklah cinta,
pandang aku..
peluk aku sekali lagi
Mengapa hanya kulihat punggungmu?
dan lenganmu yang merangkul perempuan itu?
Aku bisa membuatmu bahagia,
Tolong.........
Tapi si lelaki membisu.
Tidak ada lagi kesempatan bagimu,
semua sudah terlambat
Penyesalan kosong belaka.
Selamat tinggal.
Dia pun terduduk,
menulis,
"people would do just about anything for a glimpse of happiness
I let mine slipped away some time ago...
dear happiness, I promise now to hold on to you and never let you go."
Disinilah aku,
menitikkan air mata untuk seorang teman,
yang kehilangan kebahagiaannya.
Kubaca..
Berpikir..
Merenung..
"with my life I have now and all the people around me, I know I shouldn't be sad anymore...
but there are still nights where I find it so hard to get through alone... and there's nothing I could do but cry... and I couldn't stop it..."
Posted by Ay..
Ini yang dia tulis.
Masih kuingat,
betapa si lelaki mencintainya.
Album foto berisi dia.
dengan catatan pinggir manis
"ay, smile, and please keep smilin', coz' I love the way you smile... "
atau
"u and me"
Tujuh tahun pasang surut.
Prang!
Hancur.
Sekejap mata.
Rapuhnya kehidupan
Kesementaraan yang membekukan.
Saat dia terbangun,
hanya dia sendiri disana.
dingin.
Betapa dia berharap bisa menghentikan waktu
atau punya mesin waktu dimana dia bisa menekan tombol
Pause, Rewind, Stop.
Ingin rasanya dia menjerit,
berilah aku kesempatan lagi,
berbaliklah cinta,
pandang aku..
peluk aku sekali lagi
Mengapa hanya kulihat punggungmu?
dan lenganmu yang merangkul perempuan itu?
Aku bisa membuatmu bahagia,
Tolong.........
Tapi si lelaki membisu.
Tidak ada lagi kesempatan bagimu,
semua sudah terlambat
Penyesalan kosong belaka.
Selamat tinggal.
Dia pun terduduk,
menulis,
"people would do just about anything for a glimpse of happiness
I let mine slipped away some time ago...
dear happiness, I promise now to hold on to you and never let you go."
Disinilah aku,
menitikkan air mata untuk seorang teman,
yang kehilangan kebahagiaannya.
July 5, 2010
Just like a star
A beautiful song
Just like a star across my sky,
Just like an angel off the page,
You have appeared to my life,
Feel like I'll never be the same,
Just like a song in my heart,
Just like oil on my hands,
Honour to love you
Still I wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
With anyone but you,
We do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind,
You've got this look I can't describe,
You make me feel like I'm alive,
When everything else is au fait,
Without a doubt you're on my side,
Heaven has been away too long,
Can't find the words to write this song,
Oh...
Your love,
Still I wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
With anyone but you,
We do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind,
Now I have come to understand,
The way it is,
It's not a secret anymore,
'cause we've been through that before,
From tonight I know that you're the only one,
I've been confused and in the dark,
Now I understand,
I wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
With anyone but you,
I wonder why it is,
I wont let my guard down,
For anyone but you
We do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind,
Just like a star across my sky,
Just like an angel off the page,
You have appeared to my life,
Feel like I'll never be the same,
Just like a song in my heart,
Just like oil on my hands
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