April 12, 2010

a double sided blade

Every coin has two sides, absolute is void.

I've always been strong, maybe even too strong..God gave me burdens and strength to carry my cross. Life forced me to be stronger and tougher..I pushed myself forward, never giving up, not allowing myself to cry. I held my head up high, facing life and it's obstacles.. never letting myself fall and break down. Even if I did, I got up in a matter of seconds. I never stopped to think that this strength would harm me..since it'd taken me far through life.

But now I see, my strength is a double sided blade. If it's too sharp, it will harm myself and those people around me.. I somehow forgot that not everyone in the world has the same amount of strength.. I always thought,"If I can do it, then everyone else should also be able to." I forgot that everyone learned on different pace, and learned different lessons.

When they broke down, still moaning, whining and licking their wounds, I'd pulled myself back up on my feet and kept going on. I'd never waited nor given time for them.. I tried to hold their hands, those people I loved.. trying to pull them to run with me.. But in the end they let go of my hands.. they couldn't keep up with my speed.. and they're tired of always having to run with me.. In the end I won because I'm strong.. but there at the end of the race,at the finish line, I stood alone.. I guess the saying is true.. The winnder stands alone. It's lonely and tiring.. But I just can't let myself fall down, because if I fell, I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to stand up anymore.. Those burdens are really weighing me down sometimes.. But I know there's nobody there to catch me if I fall..

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